


Lights and Shadows

by strawberryshortme



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: F/M, Haikyuu- Freeform, Manga & Anime, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-24
Updated: 2020-10-24
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:29:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27165256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strawberryshortme/pseuds/strawberryshortme
Summary: {A spur-of-the-moment writing fueled by my midnight cup of coffee and the raging waves of thought, none of them pleasant, inside the universe of my mind.}You are a walking hurricane of ever consuming thoughts; a place of dim corners. In your life is bleakness as its companion.Akaashi Keiji is apathy incarnate. But to you, for you, because of you, the corners of his mouth curve upward into a welcoming smile. You find its delicate light falling gently upon you.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Reader
Kudos: 11





	Lights and Shadows

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: Crappy writing ahead
> 
> Please forgive the grammatical errors you'll find and the lame plot that will unfold. I just felt like writing. Please tell me what needs to be improveed. You can share suggestions too, if you like. 
> 
> Aaaand I just want to wish y'all an at least bearable day!

#  Moonlit River 

#    


The sun has casted its mellow orange glow around the campus. Classes have ended minutes ago and you sat at a bench in one of the school’s park; tall lush trees and their shadows hiding you from the view of students going their way to coffee shops and arcades. Trees swayed elegantly with the spring breeze. Water fountains sparkled in hues of the hazy afternoon sky. The wind hummed melodies of love and joy, but it was foreign to you. The scene unfolding before you would have been enough to captivate your heart had it not been for the blur of tears forming in your eyes. 

You got lost in your leaden train of thoughts; the hellish ride going in circles. Insecurity kept on creeping around your skin, constricting your breath. It’s rising up and up and up. Until all that was in your head were tangled wires of utter blackness. You wondered why you don’t seem to belong. If there are some unwritten standards you unfortunately cannot reach. It has been your third month in Fukurodani already. You’re in your second year of high school and you seem to struggle connecting with others. You just blend in the background and hide in the shadows. Among crowds, you weave through bodies of students silently and unnoticed while your mind screams knives at you. Is it beauty you are supposed to have in order to be loved? Accepted? Too bad, you thought. For you think you don’t have it. So you welcome the waves of insecurity with its drowning pain. It has always been your companion ever since you learned the ways of the world. 

You could hear the sound of balls hitting the floor, the shouts of players calling for it, the cheers when points were scored. Players were the only students in the campus in that time of the day. Too long, you’ve been lost in your own thoughts for too long your tears have already dried. It was time to put your shield up high again after a moment of vulnerability. You stood up, dusting off dirt off your skirt. You were getting ready to leave when someone approached you. 

“Here, you look like you need a warm cup of coffee.” He said. He was standing in front of you, his arms stretched out with the coffee in his hand. He’s wearing training attires, a blue t-shirt and black shorts. You know this guy. Akaashi Keiji. Who wouldn’t? He’s a famous volley ball player in your school. But that’s all you really know about him. You’re not friends, not even acquaintances. You must’ve looked miserable for him to take pity on you. 

“Uh, thanks.” You answered meekly. Your socialization skills suck to the highest level. You can’t even meet his eye. What comes after thanks? Ah right! The coffee. But it would be too embarrassing to accept it from someone you don’t personally know and it’d be too arrogant if you reject it. You suddenly feel exposed with the attention he was giving you and you just want to go. Unpleasant thoughts are creeping up again. He probably thinks you’re hideous. He probably just felt obligated to approach someone pitiful. So you wanted to leave immediately; if only to hide your hideous self from anyone’s eyes. But for one moment you looked at his eyes and it seemed to contradict the raging thoughts in your head. You instinctively reached for the cup of coffee he was offering and he smiled at you. Warm, so warm- that smile. You have always seen him to be someone stoic. He always looked uninterested and unattached. But you saw the corners of his mouth curve into a tiny smile while the sun bid you its goodbye as it slipped along the horizon. 

That was probably the last of your encounter, you thought. And even though you think it was out of pity it slightly made you feel better. To be seen. When darkness seemed to have won already. When you went home in your tiny apartment, you greeted sleep with lightness in your heart for the first time in a long while. 

The next day was not any different than any other day. You walk, blend, and hide. You navigate the halls leading to your classroom with your head down. Conceal your flaws, your mind says over and over. So you hide it. You fidget with your blouse, place your hair at the side of your face to serve as cover, and quicken your pace. Hide. Hide. Hide yourself. During lectures, you do your best to stay focused; interacting only when it is necessary. You believe everyone is just forced to talk to you, that they secretly don’t like you. So you isolate yourself even more and dare not cross the line between classmates and friends. It has always been like that. After class, you go straight to home, sometimes passing the bench you often sit on but deciding not to stay ever sincethat day, when you realized it was not as hidden as you thought it was. 

You walked home taking the quiet roads, the ones that let you enjoy nature and unwind. The river along the path you’re walking gleams a silver light as the moon shines upon it. You breathe in the smell of flowers nearby. Your steps were slow and quiet. Your mind is at peace. You love the small reprieve the walks along the river path give you. 

“You look like you’re feeling better, y/n.” Someone beside you said. You must’ve been so engulfed with the beauty before you to notice that you were not alone. It’s that player again. And here you thought you’ll never see him after that day. Normally you’d shy away from any interaction. But he seemed kind that you lower your barrier for a while. 

“You know my name?” You asked in surprise as it dawned on you that he indeed called you by your name. He answered, “Is that so much of a surprise? We share some classes, you know. ” Now, that was a surprise. Were you really too focused on your own tiring thoughts to notice that you’re often in the same room? You wondered if it offended him and it must’ve showed on your face. “It’s no worries.” He assured you. 

The two of you walked in silence along the riverside path. It became a common occurrence for the both of you as days passed by. You would often go home late because you didn’t want to arrive at an empty place so you wander around until night time. Coincidentally, Akaashi’s practice would end late in the evening and you would end up traversing the same path at the same time. Almost every time it would be filled with silence- still awkward but welcome. He looked so distant and cold but often times his actions would prove otherwise. Like that one time he offered you an umbrella when it was raining hard and he knew you’d most likely walk again. Or the times he’d sit beside you in classes and even help you in parts you struggle at. He would often offer you his jacket in the library after he noticed how you get cold so easily. It was the small yet thoughtful things he’d do that made you feel a little less invisible. 

Akaashi walked with you on your way home after their practice. This time, you were finishing up a school project and he must’ve known you’d still be in the campus because he patiently waited for you by the gate. He was leaning on a wall with his hands in his pockets. The varsity jacket he wore complemented his black hair perfectly. He wore that composed face again as he gazed at the star-painted sky. The moonlight kissed his skin and his blue eyes gleamed in silver hue. He looked…serene. You wonder what’s going on in that mind of his as you noticed his thick eyebrows scrunched- the only hint of emotion in his otherwise calm visage. 

He quietly walked beside you along the familiar riverside road. “Why are you even here with me?” You suddenly blurted the question itching at the back of your mind for how many days now and you wished you hadn’t. It was the day your inner demons would not leave you alone. 

Akaashi stopped in his tracks and faced you. His face was neutral and unreadable. “Because I want to get close to you.” He said it so plainly, there’s no hint of mockery in his tone. And you wanted to believe him but you can’t think of a reason why anyone would want to get to know you. The last time you believed someone to be genuine towards you ended up with your heart getting broken into a thousand miniscule pieces. 

“Right, and the moon is gold.” You replied sarcastically. Bullshits. You’re tired of hearing endless bullshits from people. You walked faster and in longer strides. But he’s taller and his steps are bigger that he easily reached you. 

“I’m not lying.” 

“Why would anyone want to get close with someone like me?” You asked aghast. 

“Why wouldn’t they?” His voice softened. 

“Because I’m hideous!” There comes the self-hate you’ve been harboring all your life. There come the tears that fell relentlessly. You kept your head down as you stood there trying to fight the tears that threatened to consume you. 

“Y/n. Hey, look at me.” He lifted up your chin lightly and he looked at you with those beautiful blue eyes you almost never glance at because you’re afraid you might not have the courage to look away. “You are wonderful even on days you feel like it's the last thing you'll ever be. I see you smile whenever you read a book in a bench in the park and think you’re beautiful; whenever you hum a song while you’re walking; whenever you’re focused in class and genuinely enjoy learning; whenever you gaze at the sky as the sun goes its path, as the stars appears after it sets; whenever you look at the window in our classroom and get lost in the view outside. You scrunch your eyebrows when you draw and it makes me smile. I look at you in your moments of quiet happiness and sorrow and I see the gratifying beauty you hold. I wish you’d see it, too.” Akashi’s voice was tender. Gone was his apathetic tone. All you can feel from his voice is warmth, just like the gentle smile he gave you the first time you talked. 

Akaashi held your hand and pulled you in an embrace. You feel yourself slightly calming. Your demons are slowly retreating for a while. He let you cry it all out, offering his presence as your comfort. He never once complained of sore legs from standing so long. Instead he just held you there gently as you wept for the acceptance you've been denying yourself. So you stayed there, under the glow of the night; the moon laying a silver blanket over your heads. 

“You are beautiful in every sense of the word. And until you can finally see it yourself, I’ll be here to remind you every day.” He whispered to you softly. A confession. For Akaashi, it was his way of telling you he likes you. 

You felt vulnerable, but for once you thought it wasn’t so bad to be vulnerable. To have a shower of light casted over your head instead of the burdening shadows you often find yourself retreating into. 


End file.
